The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
