i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
