YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
