...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
