Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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