He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My bed smells like the plague
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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