she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
