He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Mom said you looked used
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Randomize
