best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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