I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
