apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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