I need help removing her.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
