Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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