I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
