If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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