so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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