u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
