I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
