Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize