FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
