How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize