Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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