You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
