So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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