He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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