yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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