I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
