so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
