I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
