I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
