and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
