so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm at about main and main street
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
