Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
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