Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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