i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize