I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize