david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
