all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
