Already got asked if we're dating
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
