Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
