Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
