We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
