i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize