google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
