your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
