He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
