Me. At least after what I've been through.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
