you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
