look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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