go do what you do best...puke behind churches
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
