The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
