I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
