I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
