i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize