i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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