Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
