I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
