No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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