Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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