i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
