Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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